I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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