Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
