i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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