you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
