Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
