New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
