Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
