My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
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Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
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My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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