She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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