I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
