don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
