anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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