i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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