I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.