talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
