I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch