I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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