dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
