I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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