so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize