Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
