eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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