spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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