Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he fucked my hip out of place.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
