She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
