Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
