At least make sure they are 18
Why
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
