no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
