Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize