that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
