think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
