oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize