I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
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Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
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He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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