Sry I called you an 8
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Randomize
