That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
