Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
