i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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