1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
