Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
