but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
