Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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