I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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