My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
