it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
