So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
