she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
