My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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