So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
