if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
