how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
