I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
