I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize