when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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