Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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