is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
