Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
