At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
