when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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