I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
