I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
