Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
