I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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